Dear Alfie and Thomas,
You will be seven and eight this year, time has gone by so quickly. We have experienced so much together and you are so wise already. You have learnt that life isn't always fair, that sharing is important but not easy, and you hate that bedtime comes too early but you love that mummy will let you stay up on a Friday night to watch movies. There are plenty more lessons you have yet to learn to satisfy those inquisitive minds of yours. Mummy will be the big 3.0 this year, she is not looking forward to it. In those 30 years, I have seen and experienced so much and had my fair share of lessons too. Some learnt through hard work but there has been some that have come through failure and bad luck.
Since becoming a mummy to two handsome boys, I have learnt that I definitely cannot force you to be something you are not. You are your own person, have your own special personalities and your own dreams. You have taught me so many life lessons in your short years: love, patience and unselfishness are in my top three. Even though I want to respect that you have to be you and you need to choose your own path in life, I can still guide you and teach you things that will help you get over the hurdles of life. I admit that I am no expert and there are still lessons I need to learn myself but I do know the important ones that will help you lead a happy life.
It is easy to compare your life with that of people around you. I was guilty of this and I have now deleted Facebook as it was making me feel jealous. Facebook is fake and people will over exaggerate their lives, making people think that everything is perfect when in fact it is not. Do not base your value by comparing how much better or worse your situation is to others around you. This will not make you happy. Also live your life without caring what others think of you. Being unafraid of not being liked is the best way to be liked.
2. Take risks
Risks are a part of life. The prime minister didn't win the election by hiding, afraid that people wouldn't like him. He took a risk, got out there and he won. There are good and bad risks though. Bad ones involve those that may cause you harm, speeding in your new car or walking across a busy road without using the proper crossings for example. Do not be afraid of those risks that could result in failure such as embarrassment, rejection, or loss of pride. If the risk you take could lead to greatness, then do it. This also applies to love too. Some girls may reject you/break your heart but you will never find the girl of your dreams if you let rejection affect you. Most relationships are only started because someone took a risk.
3. No matter what you become, you matter
Whether you become a rock star, politician, doctor, shelf stacker or a stay at home dad, you are important in this world. You can affect peoples lives, change the world or assist someone who will through both small and large ways.
4. Love your body
Don't read magazines and think that you are ugly because you don't look like the models. They are airbrushed. They all have the same flaws as we do. Take care of your body, do not eat unhealthy foods, do not get a face tattoo, exercise regularly, visit the dentist and the doctors often. Tell yourself you are handsome. I will always tell you, even if it embarrasses you. More importantly, you may come across people in this world that will pick on your flaws, please do not listen to them. Stay true to yourself, you are unique and special.
5. Be friends with people who love you
You will learn who your true friends are. They will be there when times are good and bad. Friends will make you feel good and will never put you down. If a friend doesn't make you happy, let them go. People will come and go in your life, true friends will stick around even if you are miles apart.
Happiness is a choice. Please remember that. They say depression can be genetic so I'm sorry if mummy has passed it on to you. I will work my hardest to ensure you have the happiest childhood that you deserve. Don't think you can never show or feel emotions though. They say you can only really know happiness if we experience misery. Allow yourself to feel every emotion from grief and heartbreak to joy, love and laughter. Please do not dwell on the negatives, let it go as Elsa would say.
7. Use your voice
Please do not be afraid to speak out, and let your opinions be heard. Never let anyone tell you your opinions don't matter, they do so believe in yourself. Always speak the truth and tell people your story, sometimes you can really help people this way.
8. Learn what you can and cannot control
Do not try to control people. You can guide them though and help them choose the right path. You can't control disasters that may occur in your lifetime such as illness, accidents, and death. It is important you learn to deal with this. What you can control is your actions, how you choose to act, how you react to a positive and negative situation, and your attitude.
9. You are enough
My favourite Broadway singer, Sierra Boggess, has this saying, "You are enough, you are so enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are". Please repeat this when you feel low.
10. Don't sit around waiting for something to happen
I was guilty of this and it didn't get me anywhere. I do not want you to make the same mistakes as me. It you want something, you have to work for it. Everyone wishes that things were handed to them on a plate but that isn't real life. Take action, be passionate and have patience. Remember your dreams and never give up on them, no matter how many hurdles are in your way.
Always know that you are loved, even when you feel lonely.
Love Mummy x
Love Mummy x