Lately I have been the queen of negative thinking. I don't think I am a good enough blogger, a good enough mum or that I am ever going to be good enough for someone to love me. Blah blah, feel sorry for me, blah blah, I know but these feelings take over my head sometimes. Sometimes, well often, I make mistakes, or fall short of my own expectations, and instead of treating it as a learning opportunity, I beat myself up about it.
From reading other blogs, I am sure others can relate to this. We have all been there and we all have bad days with moments of self doubt. The pressure of real life is enough to make us feel completely broken especially if we have less success than people of our age. For example, a girl that I went to school with is a headmaster at the local school and another drives around in a brand new sparkly Range Rover. There's me a single mum, barely enough money to survive and has to take the bus everywhere she goes. I am definitely not the most successful person from our school.
So because I think I am not the only person who thinks that they are not good enough, I thought I might a few self help tips so you know how to handle these feelings. Every time I am overwhelmed with self doubt, I write down in my notebook some positive points to outweigh the negative. I have only been doing this for a few weeks and it is actually working for me.
If the above method doesn't work for you then here are some other ideas you might try for when you don't feel good enough:
Your current situation is a necessary step
We tend to avoid experiencing life in our current situations because deep down we feel like this is not where we should be or where we want to be. We need to tell ourselves that where we have settled in the present day is where you are meant to be and we should treat it as a stepping stone to get to the next place in our lives.
Don't let pain ruin your life
When times get tough, remind yourself that all pain is good pain. How you deal with pain is what defines you so move on but do not forgot about your experiences. Heartbreak, failure, loss are all a part of growing up and they can either change you or hurt you. Basically what I am trying to say is don't dwell on pain but let it make you stronger.
Choose to be sad and feel sorry for yourself then you'll keep finding reasons to be that way. You will never recover but if you choose to live your life in a positive way then you will live a positive life, think about it.
Stop thinking everyone is better than you
It is your life that you are living and no-one else's. Sometimes we feel we are not good enough because we are too busy concentrating on other people's "perfect" lives. Truthfully there is no such thing as perfect. What's to say those people who you are jealous of aren't looking at you, wanting something you have got. My best advice is to forget how other people run their lives, forget what they have that you don't have and so what if they have achieved more than you. Your life is about reaching your own personal goals to live the best you can be.
All your achievements would have come from that moment you took a risk and went for something within your reach. If you have dreams then go for them, ten year years from now you will thank your past self for doing it but if you don't take any risks then you will have that feeling of regret. If you fail when going for your dreams, just brush yourself off and keep trying. Even celebrities like Walt Disney have dealt with failure so don't ever give up. Value and enjoy the journey, even when there are hurdles in the way.
Focus on the good
It is up to you what you choose to focus on in your life. Try to forget what you don't like and start focusing on what you do like. If an opportunity arises that could bring joy to your life then go for it. Those who are excited about their possibilities and their passions will conquer those with negative thoughts. When something means enough to you, then there will be no stopping you so focus only on your positive thoughts. Success comes from constant applied focus to a goal, it will be hard but you can do it, keep telling yourself that.
You are more than good enough, you just have to own it. Own everything you are and everything you are up against. If you let your problems drag you down, then you'll never allow yourself to rise above them. Stop worrying about things and stop complaining that it is too hard, just do it.
Work on improving your mind
I was told that if I want others to respect me, I have to learn to respect myself first. Only you can give yourself self respect, self love, and self worth and it is up to you to stop others from making you feel any less than the person you are.
Forget about what you have lost
Appreciate the blessings you have today. Live life with no regrets, no worries, no expectations as life is too short. We all go through many chapters in our lives, some are bad ones and some are good ones. It important to stop re-reading the bad chapters in life because it never did anyone any good. Turn the page because the good chapter is coming next.
The wisest, most caring people who I have ever met are those that have experienced misery, failure, heartbreak, grief, and have found their way out of their maze of negativity. These people have become compassionate, understanding, wise and more importantly they are happy because they don't look at people and say I will never be as good as they are. They know that they perfect just the way they are.