Thursday, 30 October 2014

Diary entry 2: Walking off my thoughts

 “Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good; its your job to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Today was another tough day at work. I couldn't concentrate. I had a ton of stock checking to do but my brain refused to add up the numbers. This was down to receiving some really disturbing comments about my blog. They told me I was immature for blogging, that I use it to gain attention, and the worse of all that it was utter rubbish. I don't know who this individual is and I know its just a bored person out to hurt people. I'm not going to let them get to me though and I didn't confront them. People like this seek attention and enjoy getting a reaction. I enjoy blogging and the community it holds. I am making so many friends from this and gaining so much support from people in the same situation as me. There is no way I am stopping and I don't care if its rubbish, at least I am enjoying myself. As with the comments that the post in question was a 'feel sorry for me' post. It definitely wasn't meant to come across that way. I write for myself mainly, to get things off my chest etc. Also I really didn't expect anyone to read it. 

After work, I decided to go for a walk. I had nowhere to go, I just really hated the idea of going home to an empty house. Walks are great, I could go for miles and miles. Being out in the open, in the fresh air really clears your mind. I felt great afterwards, almost at peace. I thought about all the amazing gifts i have. My health, my boys, my dad, my sister, my niece and the niece or nephew that will be joining us soon. Also I have a pretty decent Job which I work very hard at and I know most people would fight me for it. So why was I being so miserable about life?

Where I ended up today. Antony House, Cornwall. 
I ended up walking miles to one of my old hang outs from my childhood, Antony house. You may recognise it from Tim burton's Alice in wonderland. The grounds of the house are so beautiful and peaceful. There was no one else up there today so i was able to sit on a bench and just be. I loved it. 

I have decided that today marks a fresh start. I read through my last entry yesterday and thought to my self 'you need to give yourself a good slap round the face and stop feeling sorry for yourself'. Why am i dwelling on people who hate me and treat me like garbage. They are not worth my time, my tears, or my energy. They have a complete lack of care for me and I will definitely never come face to face with them again. Their opinions, hate and lies shouldn't matter to me. I have so much that i should be grateful for. I also have achieved so much this year. I should be smiling and very proud of myself. I am a strong, independent human being who is blessed with two amazing boys.

Gem xx


1 comment

  1. Lovely writing as always. Antony house looks lovely. X


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